Percy Jackson has a food contest
by Paperboy Jacky
Summary: Percy Jackson was forced to dare his friends. He dared them for a food eating contest. He goes along with his friends and chooses each restaurant, against the wishes of his friends. Calypso getting a brain freeze, Frank puking. The gods become interested and joins, only to get a video for America's funniest video. Eventually it breaks into a war. Who wins? Read to find out!
1. Ch 1: Percy gives a dare

**I do not own any of Percy Jackson at all in anyway.**

 **All were created by Rick Riordan.**

 **I will only put more chapters if there are more reviews. And if you like it.**

 **Sorry about the later chapters,... some "scenes". At least it's not so darn inappropriate. Just a little scene. (Not my type, somewhat come out)**

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 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 1

Percy gives a dare (Leo vs Calypso at McDonalds)

At Camp Half-Blood, Percy was at the border with his friends ready to get out into the world.

"Where should we go?" Frank asked.

"I think we should go to the park!" Hazel suggested. Everyone agreed. Then went to a nearby park and had a picnic. Leo got sauce on his face.

"Leo! You are such a slob!" Calypso yelled and got a _napkin_ to wipe Leo`s face.

"Let's play truth or dare." Nico blurted out loud. Everyone's attention shot at Nico. It scared him to see Frank's chubby face squishing in the many faces. The only demigods who's face did not squish in was Annabeth and Piper.

"All of you are such idiots. If you all squish in, there will be no room. Just,... SIT PROPERLY!" Annabeth yelled. It had no effect on the crowd.

"Seriously, you could bruise your beautiful face and get it ugly! Annabeth is right! Just sit properly! You all act like hogs!" Piper spoke in the whole crowd. Everyone listened to Piper.

 _Good job, Piper! That was amazing charmspeaking!_ Annabeth thought and looked at Piper with gratitude, with Piper nodding, getting the message.

"I'd say dare, Percy." Nico spoke. The look on Annabeth's face was bewildered.

 _Are you sure you don't have a crush on Percy?_ Annabeth thought. Nico read Annabeth's face. He got somewhat angry.

"Alright. I am not so good at giving any dares." Percy spoke.

"I say dare, Percy!" Calypso shouted out.

 _That is what he gets for breaking my heart!_ Calypso thought.

"Hit me up, Percy babe! DARE!" Leo shouted, scaring everyone. After all, everyone forgot he was alive.

Percy spoke "Guys, I am not too sure, what if I tell you to kick a porcupine? That's a not so nice dare. I'm thinking of a reasonable one..."

"Dare!" Hazel shouted. "Jackson, I DARE you to give me a DARE!" Hazel looked at Frank.

"Uh, yeah! Me too!" Frank spoke.

"Guys, I am not doing this!" Percy shouted.

"Percy, you beat Kronos and you don't want to give us dares?" Reyna smirked "Where is your battle spirit?"

"Dude, I thought you were cool, Percy." Jason spoke "I want a dare, Jackson!"

Percy was having trouble resisting everyone's requests. Reyna was hard enough to resist. But Jason. Aw man! Jason could beat him to a pulp. Look at his build!

"Percy, I call DARE!" Piper shouted with powerful charmspeak. Percy resisted.

"You are so naive seaweed brain!" Annabeth shouted, giving him a big noogie. "It sounds fun! DARE! Jackson, I want a DARE, or else, you are not my boyfriend anymore!"

"WHAT!" Percy shouted in horror. He stopped for a moment.

"Fine. Let's have a contest on eating a random food. Me, Annabeth, Jason, and Piper are our judges!" Percy announced.

"Percy, you are no fun. That dare is just about eating." Nico spoke, looking quite glum.

"Yo, Baby Calypso! I am so ready for this, yow!" Leo shouted.

"Did you just call me baby Calypso? Excuse me, but I am WAY older than you, BABY Leo!" Calypso snapped back.

"Whatever." Leo spoke.

...

At a McDonald's restaurant.

"Okay, here are our first contestants. Calypso, and Leo." Percy spoke.

"Let's do this, girlfriend!" Leo shouted.

"Do you have to shout all the time?" Calypso scolded.

"Okay contestants. Whoever finishes everything given here will get a point for winning! You must eat a Double Big Mac combo!" Percy shouted. "Begin!"

Calypso looked at her _fast_ food. There was a weird looking circle with things inside it.

 _Is that a pickle?_ Calypso thought. She looked at the Ketchup and Mustard.

 _Is this blood? It's red, but it doesn't look much like blood._ Calypso thought. She looked at Leo who was totally digging the food.

 _I have no choice._ Calypso thought. She picked up her burger and ate aggressively.

 _WHAT IS THIS STUFF? I THINK I HAVE A HEART ATTACK, WHATEVER THAT IS!_ Calypso thought. She ate the burger aggressively. Leo looked at Calypso with a shocked face.

 _How in the world of Zeus could my babe eat that thing so fast? It's either she has my blessing, the Leoshashugeer!_ Leo thought. Calypso was the first to finish her burger.

"Out of everyone, I thought Calypso would not be able to eat fast food this quickly, but ..." Percy Jackson trailed off as he watched Calypso throw the Double Big Mac box on Percy's head with such force. Calypso started on her drink.

 _What in the world? This stuff is really good! But I feel like burping_ Calypso thought. She let off a loud burp just as Leo finished his Leo burger.

"It's no longer a Big Mac! It's a Leo burger into Leo waste!" Leo announced.

"Shut up Leo! She got through the Coke already!" Percy scolded Leo. It was true. Calypso finished it. She threw the soda cup at Leo's head, for extra measure. Leo was mad! He drained the coke and got working on his french fries, like Calypso.

 _What is this? It tastes really weird and good._ Calypso thought. Leo picked up his last french fry and looked at Calypso and got ready to put the french fry in his mouth. Calypso had five french fries. Calypso was very mad. She quickly swiped all five french fries and finished the fight. Leo just put the french fry in his mouth and looked at Calypso. The look on her face was bad. Leo had lost the food eating contest.

"Damn it! My Babe has beaten me awesome Super LEO!" Leo shouted. "I'll win next time!"

"That's one point for Calypso." Percy spoke "and frankly, I am quite surprised."

"What was that?" Calypso asked, with a little murder to the edge of her voice.

"Nothing!" Percy spoke and ran for his life.


	2. Ch 2: Double Date Eating

**This is the second chapter. If you like it, please review, or there won't be more!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **...**

Chapter 2

Double Date Eating

The friends were walking out of McDonalds.

"Wait? What do you mean that you are surprised?" Calypso asked.

"Oh, you lived in Ogygia with only healthy food everyday. I don't think you could survive such unhealthy food!" Percy spoke, earning himself a punch in the head from Calypso and Annabeth.

"Sorry Calyspo, he really is a seaweed brain!" Annabeth spoke as she gave Percy a horrible noogie "Perfectly describing his horrifying IQ!"

"I see." Calypso spoke.

"Percy, where are we going next?" Jason asked.

"Well, since you asked, you are going on a date with Piper." Percy spoke. Jason pinned him on the wall.

"I never said I wanted to go on a date with Piper!" Jason yelled.

"What was that Jason? I'm hurt!" Piper spoke out. Jason cleared his voice.

"I mean, I was not going on a date with Piper! We might, soon." Jason blushed.

"That's right, very soon, because we are here at this restaurant!" Percy spoke. It was a fancy restaurant. A _French_ restaurant to be exact.

"Ooh! La Quebec!" Piper squealed. "This is a good restaurant!"

"What?" Jason asked.

"That's right, Mr. Grace, because our next round will consist with Jason and Piper eating FRENCH FOOD!" Percy announced as they stood in the front of La Quebec.

...

The couples were sitting down with Percy and Annabeth getting the arrangements ready. Soon, two waiters came out with a tray (covered) each and placed it in front of Jason and Piper. Judging by Piper's look, she probably knew what was inside and judging by her gulping, there was probably a lot of food inside the tray that was covered.

"No way, I heard legends about this particular tray." Piper spoke, terrified.

"What is it?" Jason asked.

"Only, one person is capable of eating it perfectly." Piper spoke.

"Who is it? Who is it?" Jason asked.

"Aphrodite." Piper spoke.

...

"We don't right?" Jason asked.

"Rumors say if you don't eat perfectly, you start to get full faster." Piper spoke.

"Start!" Percy shouted. Jason and Piper gave Percy a murderous look.

"Look here, Percy. If I don't explain to Jason, this contest is unfair!" Piper shouted. This convinced Percy.

"Alright, I am ready." Piper spoke, putting on her cloth. She whipped out the fork and knife.

"Me too." Jason spoke, with the same position with Piper.

...

"Begin!" Percy shouted.

Piper whipped the item covering the large tray. Jason did the same thing.

There was a large variety of items, and one Piper particularly noticed.

That particular one item was the soup. To be specific, it contained so many ingredients and was the real challenge to eating it. You could easily get mess over you and the smell of it is able to make you full. Jason noticed Piper looking at the soup too, but did not know what Piper was thinking.

Piper started on the lobster dish.

Jason looked nervous at his lobster dish. He skipped that one for later and looked at his appetizer. A salad. He did not like vegetables and skipped that one for later.

 _No, I must get through the toughest obstacle! After all, I can't let something like a salad beat me! It would make the giants and titans look_ _pathetic!_ Jason thought. He started to choke the salad down.

Piper ate ladylike, with the contest perfectly in favor. The shell was hard to break, but in the end, her tools helped her along the way. The lobster shell was removed and Piper stopped.

"Percy. I can't eat this. I just realized." Piper spoke softly.

"I understand. You are just a chicken." Percy laughed.

"No." Piper spoke. "I AM A VEGETARIAN!"

The screaming had such a powerful impact on Percy that he replaced every item that was meat based.

Jason decided that he was too slow, so he began eating brutally, totally ignoring Piper's advice now starting on the lobster, forgetting about the four other items in store.

Piper's tray had come. Or bowl.

It was a very large bowl of salad with Tater tots in it. Piper started to eat it quickly and politely.

Jason's lobster sauce splashed on him. The more he ate like that, Jason got fuller and fuller. He moved on to the pasta and ate ferociously. There was no slobbering on that one.

Piper had finished her salad (replacing the lobster) and her other salad. Piper had just started the pasta. Jason had three more items. The soup of course, the drink which he had no idea was inside it, and the dessert.

He took a sip of the drink.

 _Coke? Cherry Coke?_ Jason thought. He opened the container.

 _No, it's blue cherry coke! Percy, I'll beat you when I'm done with this!_ Jason thought. He accidentally spilt the container and immediately felt very full. it was finished. Piper had won the battle! Additionally, Piper had ate everything.

"Alright. Piper gets a point!" Percy says.

...

Percy walks along with his friends and thinks.

"Alright, I have decided our next contestants." Percy announced in front of his friends.

"What is it?" Hazel asked "Not muffins. Me and Frank do not like muffins!"

"Actually, it's muffins. Blue muffins. At my mum's house!" Percy spoke. They walked in Sally Jackson's new house.

"Hello Percy!" Sally squealed and gave Percy a hug. "Where did you go?"

"Oh, a restaurant." Percy spoke.

"What would you like after your hard journey?" Sally asked.

"Uh, two blue muffins!" Percy spoke, weirdly.

"Oh, I just baked some!" Sally spoke "Perfect timing!"

She brought out two humongous muffins, closer to the size of a small cake. The look on Frank and Hazel's face was good enough to record on Youtube to beat every records on views and likes.

Hazel and Frank took their spots.

"Think of this as a small date!" Percy explained. Hazel brought a fork behind Percy.

"JOKING! JOKING! Jokin..." Percy spoke, fearing what Hazel might do.

"Begin!" Percy shouted. Frank took a big lunge at his muffin and had a lot of difficultly choking it down.

"Uh, are you alright with giving your friends my muffins?" Sally asked with a slight insult to her expression.

"Oh, those two just don't like muffins. They dared me, so that's what they get for pushing me." Percy spoke.

"Percy! You are such, a... SEAWEED BRAIN!" Hazel shouted. She was barely starting her muffin. Frank dropped his muffin and ran to the washroom as fast as he could.

...

Frank was at his last bite with Hazel, who both just could not eat the last bite. Percy was sipping on Blue Cherry Coke. Just then, Arion came out of nowhere and ate the muffin.

"Hazel wins!" Percy shouted.

"Good horse, Arion!" Hazel spoke and fed Arion a nugget of gold.

"That is one point for Hazel!" Percy spoke. Percy looked over a Nico who looked back at him, holding a blue cupcake.

"What's with the Blue cupcake?" Percy asked. Sally brought out a big cake.

"Happy Birthday Percy!" his friends yelled.

"Thank you so much!" Percy spoke. He was very happy. Especially making that dare.


	3. Ch 3: Percy's Lifesavings in A&W

**I hope you all liked the first two chapters. I thought the second one wasn't so good.**

 **Here is more humor that will make you laugh so hard!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **P.S. Please do tell me if you want more! I need to know!**

 **...**

Chapter 3

Percy's Life savings in A&W

Jason watched as Percy got out a blue fish. He opened a lid and got out all the money inside. He held the money up.

"Jason, this is my lifesavings! Let's go to A&W!" Percy announced. Jason stared at the small fifty dollars.

 _Lifesavings?_ Jason thought.

"Alright, let's go to A&W!" Jason spoke.

"Gang, do you need me to drive you there?" Sally asked.

"No thanks, mom!" Percy spoke.

"How about I walk with your gang there? After all, you haven't been spending much time with your mother!" Sally asked, a little hurt.

"Alright. It won't hurt." Percy spoke.

"Percy, do you mind if I paid for your meal?" Sally asked. Percy felt the blood rise to his cheeks as his mother asked every question. Nico started to giggle. Out of all the people, Nico starts giggling. Percy attacks Nico with a tickle fight. Nico regret his earlier action. Percy put his money back into his fishy bank, a gift from Poseidon.

 _Nico? Are you still in love with Percy?_ Annabeth asked with her expression at Nico.

Nico shot a face that said _What! Nooooo! Back off, smart girl!_

The gang walked to A&W.

Annabeth, Piper, and Sally whisper about something. Sally seem to know what was going on. A moment later, Annabeth and Piper return with a tray with A&W food.

"Y'know, I wish we went to McDonalds." Jason spoke. A red headed girl apparently heard what Jason said. She looked beside Jason and saw Percy and spied on them.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I present the Uncle Burger Combo!" Annabeth spoke in a very professional way.

"Begin!" Piper shouted. The two boys quickly grabbed their burgers and eat them. Jason ate the burger faster than Percy.

"Look at that! Jason is eating that burger faster than my baby Percy! Naturally, look at his muscles!" Sally pretended to gush, embarrassing Percy even more. Percy finished his last bite of his Uncle Burger. Calypso watched them eat with horror.

"Leo, you told me grease is bad for you, apparently." Calypso whispered to Leo.

"Babe, this is fast food. Everything in the damn fast food chain is just dirty yucky with greaseamajig! Just ignore it, darling!" Leo spoke.

Percy drank the drink.

 _Cherry Coke._ Percy thought. He looked carefully.

 _Blue_ _Cherry Coke,_ Percy thought. He easily drained it, being the son of Poseidon and all. It gave him energy. Now, for the fries. Jason looked at Percy with horror. He was frantically trying to finish the drink. Percy dumped a quarter of french fry content in his mouth. He swallowed and held his heart in pain.

"Babe, this is what happens if you eat way too fast in fast food restaurants" Leo whispered.

"Aww. I wish I got A&W as part of the dare!..." Frank whined.

"Frank, I thought you weren't such a baby! I was wrong..." Hazel spoke. That shut Frank up. Nico's eyes were completely glued at Percy the whole time they were eating.

"Annabeth, who do you think is going to win?" Reyna asked.

"I think Jason is going to win." the red headed girl spoke, scaring the gang.

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare!" Annabeth spoke. Rachel watched Percy eat his fries like a slob. Now, his heart was hurting from eating so much fast food.

Jason made it to the fries and watched Percy suffer.

"I believe you should not eat such hot fries, especially such a large content" Jason spoke. He dumped the warm fries all in his mouth.

"EWWW! GROSS!" Piper squealed with horror. She whipped out a kleenex and wiped Jason's face.

"That,...means... Jason has won." Annabeth spoke. She hit Percy.

"Seaweed Brain, I don't call you that for no reason!" Annabeth shouted. "Besides, you proposed the dare. Follow through the dare! That is one point for Jason Grace!"

Jason made a big show of bowing and getting all great. A woman was watching them eat. Hera.

...

"Alright, let's have Reyna face off Nico!" Percy announced. He slapped Nico hard on the back.

"Good Luck, you'll need it!" Percy spoke.

"Thanks." Nico spoke, flushed. Percy did not notice it. Annabeth did though and gave him a _Are you stiil in love with Percy_ look. That made Nico angry again. They arrived at a restaurant that serves very spicy food. Nico went pale for two reasons. He did not like spicy stuff. Second, Clarisse was in there. She noticed them immediately.

"What brings you people in here?" Clarisse asked.

"Oh, we came in here to have a eating contest." Nico spoke, terrified at what Clarisse could do.

"Hah! A punk like you wouldn't survive this restaurant!" Clarisse sneered at Nico. She noticed Percy.

"Whatcha doing in here, Jackson? Saving the world? If you need help, I'm the one." Clarisse spoke.

"Oh, no. I proposed an eating contest." Percy spoke.

"Count me in!" Clarisse spoke "I just arrived anyways!"

...

Soon, Nico, Reyna, and Clarisse held their super spicy burrito in their hands.

"What's up?" Rachel asked. That scared everyone. Not Clarisse.

"Whatcha doing in here, punk?" Clarisse asked somewhat nicely.

"Oh, I tailed them." Rachel spoke.

"Ah." Clarisse confirmed. She waited for the judges. It was decided that Piper would be leading this. Sally again would be paying the bill. Not that she had anything against the contest. She was rich, after all.

"Start!" Piper spoke in a powerful voice. Nico took a very big bite out of his burrito.

 _Bad Mistake! THIS IS TOO SPICY!_ Nico thought. He took another big bite. Clarisse and Reyna ate the burrito, ignoring the powerful spice put into the burrito. Reyna beat Clarisse with a new record, according to herself. She beat Clarisse by ten seconds. Nico was behind Clarisse by two minutes.

"Reyna wins!" Percy spoke.

"Who's your mother again?" Clarisse asked curiously.

"My mother is Belona, the war goddess." Reyna spoke politely. The face on Clarisse was shocking. Nico looked very bad. His face was paler than when he came in the restaurant.

"But, my dad is Ares, the war god!" Clarisse spoke. "That explains everything!"

Clarisse stormed out of the restaurant in anger.

In Mount Olympus, Hera was laughing so hard.

"What in Hades is making you laugh so hard?" Zeus asked.

"Look at that!" Hera pointed. She pointed to a recording of Jason and Percy. Poseidon walked in Mount Olympus.

"My son lost to yours..." Poseidon spoke glumly.

"See the power of the King of Heaven?" Zeus boasted, only to be beaten up by Hera.

"Quiet! I'm thinking of cooking for their LOVELY contest!" Hera shouted. It was not often that she gets interested in demigods.

"Jason Grace, excellent!" Hera shouted at the recording.


	4. Ch 4: Cheesecake makes me barf

**Thank you all so much for the reviews!**

 **I have never had so many reviews.**

 **Here is the moment you all have been waiting for!**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 4

Cheesecake makes me barf

Percy and his gang encounters a cheesecake restaurant called Sunshine Cheesecake Cafe. Rachel ran away at the sight.

"Alright, according to Annabeth, this cheesecake restaurant is really good. So we'll go in there." Percy spoke.

The looks on Nico and Hazel was paler than ever. Paler than when Nico finished his super spicy burrito.

The Keg was next door. Piper did not want to go in there. The look on her face told more words and had more power than her charmspeak. The restaurant beside the cheesecake place was Calypso's Greek Salad.

"Hey, look Leo! There is my name? Do you think I'm more, ... _SPECIAL?_ " Calypso asked in a mysterious voice.

"Yow BABE! THAT RESTAURANT HAS YOUR AWESOME FIREBREATHING NAME ON IT!" Leo shouted hysterically. "LET'S GET THE SHIZZLE OUT OF THIS"

Percy thought about it.

"Alright. Let's go in there." Percy spoke.

The gang went in the restaurant. There were so many different salads.

"OH GODS! THIS IS PERFECT FOR ME!" Piper squealed. The look on Annabeth's face was neutral.

"Piper, let's face off for salad!" Annabeth spoke.

"You got a deal!" Piper answered. "How about it, Percy?"

Percy thought about this.

"Alright." Percy spoke. Just then, Leo bursted out something.

"HEY EVERYONE! CHECK OUT MY GIRLFRIEND, THE MIGHTY AND BEEAU-TIFUL CALYPSO!" Leo shouted. The manager of the salad restaurant looked at Leo. Leo read the manager's name tag.

Calypso.

"What do you think you are doing? My name is Calypso so back off!" the manager spoke. Calypso had to beat the bonkers out of Leo and the manager.

"Leo, you just had to blurt out stuff out!" Calypso spoke.

"And lady, I am Calypso, the real Calypso of Ogygia!" Calypso announced.

"Oh, can I get your autograph?" the manager asked. Calypso did not understand what an _autograph_ is.

"Autographs? Aren't those the info thingies that give you information?" Calypso asked. The manager started to laugh.

"Oh, ignore that! How about a free lunch for you and your gang" The manager asked.

"If you want to serve me, just give them each a salad bowl, whatever you call it." Calypso spoke.

...

The two bowls of salad was assembled.

"Begin!" Percy spoke. Annabeth and Piper immediately started on their salad. They showed no sign of fatigue or fullness. Piper really knew what she was eating. Annabeth on the other hand was not a vegetarian. She agreed to it anyways. Annabeth was on the verge to losing. Piper had already eaten ten percent of her salad. Annabeth only ate one percent. Eventually, Piper had thirty percent left of the salad and Annabeth had seventy percent left. She was so going to lose. Just then, she noticed something on Piper's fork.

 _A snail?_ Annabeth thought to herself. _That looks hazardous!_

"Piper, look at your fork. There is a snail on it." Annabeth spoke.

"No there's not." Piper spoke back.

"There is a snail on your fork!" Annabeth spoke "Unless you want to be a living body for ratworm, just look at the fork!" Annabeth spoke.

Piper wouldn't give in. Annabeth had no choice. She lunged at Piper and stole her fork.

"No fair, cheater!" Piper yelled. Annabeth held the side with the snail on it. Piper believed Annabeth.

"A SNAIL! AHHHHHHHH!" Piper yelled "WHAT IS A SNAIL DOING IN MY SALAD!"

Piper fainted. The gang's attention focused on Piper. Annabeth secretly finished her salad.

The manager came and saw the snail. She fainted.

The snail was green, oozing with green slime.

Percy only just noticed that Annabeth has won the contest.

"It appears that Annabeth won the contest!" Percy shouted "One point for Annabeth."

The gang nodded. Percy announced the standings.

"I will announce everyone who has a point!

I myself, zero points.

Annabeth, one point from Calypso's Garden Salad.

Jason, one point, from A&Ws.

Piper, one point, from La Quebec.

Frank, zero points.

Hazel, one point from my mom's muffins.

Leo, zero points.

Calypso, one point from McDonalds.

Nico, zero points.

Reyna, one point from Spicy Burritos." Percy spoke. "Now, let's go have cheesecake!"

...

Nico and Hazel found themselves on a chair facing each other. There was a woman making cheesecake. There were many posters that all spoke cereal.

"My cereals are so healthy!" one poster read.

"Graham crackers are really from wheat, which makes cereal!" another poster read.

The woman came over with two plates of cheesecake slices and put it in front of Nico and Hazel. She put a scowl on her face. She looked at Sally.

"Hello, who is your son?" The woman asked.

"Oh, my son is right here, Percy." Sally spoke.

"Percy? As in Percy Jackson?" The woman asked. "My daughter talks so highly of you! She talks about how you helped her get her husband more power, something about a sword."

"Did she?" Percy asked.

"How's your daughter?" Sally asked. Wrong question. The woman became quite angry.

"Not here. She ate six pomegranate seeds." the woman spoke. She walked away. Another scowl to Nico and Hazel.

"Who is she anyways, and why does she give Nico and Hazel scowls" Percy asked the gang. Nico was the first to answer.

"Don't you know who she is, Percy?" Nico spoke "She is Demeter. Her daughter, Persephone ate six pomegranate seeds and has to stay in the underworld half the year! Demeter does not like Hades and his children, explaining that funny scowl"

Nico started to laugh. Hazel as well. Soon, the whole gang was laughing their heads off.

"Who scowls like a chicken?" Jason joked.

"I don't know, dude, but all I know is that when she's done with my Leo treatment, that scowl will become a wowo!" Leo spoke confidently.

"Alright, guys." Jason spoke "Begin!"

Nico picked up his fork. So did Hazel. They were blushing at each other.

"Huh?" Percy spoke. Nico blushed harder. Hazel did as well. They did not want to eat the cheesecake.

"Come on now, cereal is good for you! If you prefer, you could start farming..." Demeter spoke.

"No, M'lady. I'm fine. I'll eat the cheesecake" Nico spoke.

"Me too." Hazel spoke. Hazel looked at Frank with a look of fright.

"Start already..." Piper spoke, bored out of her scull. Hazel and Nico decided to eat the cheesecake after all.

Nico and Hazel ate the cheesecake really fast.

"Dude, I can't eat cheesecake that fast" Jason spoke, astonished.

"My Hazel... what in the world made you eat cheesecake so fast?" Frank whispered to Jason.

"Holy Zeus." Reyna breathed.

"Holy Zeus." Demeter breathed.

...

Back in heaven.

"Holy Zeus!" Hera shouted. She was watching Nico and Hazel.

"Eh?" Zeus asked.

"Nothing, my dear." Hera spoke. Zeus joined her.

"Holy Kronos!" Zeus spoke, earning him a beating from Hera.

...

Nico finished his cheesecake first. Hazel finished hers after.

"Good job, you got through the drama." Percy spoke. "That's one point for Nico..."

FFFRRRBBBT!

Nico and Hazel both let off a horrifying fart.

Man, it was as loud as an explosion. Green Gas clouds clouded the restaurant and everyone in the restaurant evacuated.

"That's what, Percy" Nico spoke. Nico saw Reyna barf. She was barfing cheesecakes out of her mouth in a bush.

"What did you eat this morning?" Percy spoke.

"Cheesecake." Reyna spoke, pointing to the deadly fart gas in the restaurant. "After smelling that, I am never secretly going to eat cheesecake ever again!"

...

"Zeus, honey." Hera asked.

"What is it?" Zeus asked.

"I was wondering,...can I make cheesecake?" Hera asked.

"Sure, honey." Zeus spoke.

"I mean, for Nico and Hazel." Hera asked wickedly.

The reaction on Zeus' face made him run away. Far away, Hera hear Zeus give a big NO!


	5. Ch 5: All Girls Contest Day

**WOW, Thank you for the reviews!**

 **13 is the most I have ever had!**

 **The views shot up faster than my Naruto fanfic! You guys are the best!**

 **Thank you for reading.**

 **I am able to do a daily update. Probably the latest update is two days, but only if you all review because I can't keep writing if there isn't meaning!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **P.S.: I fixed Chapter 2. Sally has a house, not an apartment.**

Chapter 5

All girl contest day

Percy wanted to go to the Keg next door with the gang, but the stuff was expensive.

They were going to have dinner in the Keg. Percy and his gang walked in the restaurant.

"I have decided that the next day is going to be an all girl contest day!" Percy announced.

"Yo Percy, how about we do one more before tomorrow! I want to go, dude!" Leo shouted.

"Alright, alright." Percy spoke. "Frank, it looks like you like this part of the contest, your going!"

"Me? I love steaks!" Frank shouted. "Where is the steaks?"

...

The two plates of steaks were ready.

"On your marks..." Percy spoke. Frank and Leo got their steak ready.

"Get set..." Percy spoke "GO!"

Frank and Leo dived in the steak.

The steak was just right for Frank. He wolfed the giant steak down easily.

Leo on the other hand did not like his steak to be raw shown when he cut the steak open. The scene made Piper evacuate.

"Percy, are we allowed to use our powers?" Leo asked.

"It's not like it helps you, so okay." Percy spoke. Leo's fingers fired up and he made the steak just right for him, but wasting time. Frank has already eaten half of his steak.

"Frank, get ready for the Leo Era!" Leo shouted. Leo immediately ate half of his steak. Frank turned pale. Frank's head turned into a dragon and he ate the other half of the steak.

"Whoa, I should have not said anything, but whatever." Percy spoke. He dropped his nuggets. The event was so shocking, Percy was paralyzed. Jason had to run electricity through Percy to wake him up. Nico on the other hand was secretly laughing, caught by Hazel.

 _Are you still sure you don't like Percy?_ Annabeth spoke through her expression on her head.

Nico shot a face back at Annabeth for the millionth time. _WTF ANNABETH!_

Nico just got really angry than Percy had to go to the washroom with him and put a bucket of ice water on him. Percy came out with Nico, all wet. Leo's fingers set flames again and dried Nico's clothes with him wearing it. The sensation was horrifying.

They left the restaurant. Sally was not complaining about anything.

"Percy? Did you like family time?" Sally asked, and then she spoke "Hey gang, I wish that you were all my children!"

This moved Nico so much, she jumped at Sally and gave her a hug. This surprised the gang, except for Percy, Annabeth, and Jason.

...

The Next Day

The gang were in Sally Jackson's house. Just then, Paul Blofis entered the house. He dropped everything he had.

"Oh my Poseidon, it's Percy!" Paul spoke. "Since when did you come back?"

"Like, two days ago?" Percy spoke.

"And these are your friends?" Paul asked. Hazel lifted Paul's items up and set them aside.

"Good thing you things have a little metal on them!" Hazel spoke.

"Where do you people plan to go?" Paul asked.

"Dunno, getting maybe a Slurpee." Percy spoke.

...

Percy opened Paul's durable metal shopping bag and found two Slurpees inside.

"Is it enough?" Paul asked "Maybe I should get eight more..."

"No, it's wonderful!" Percy spoke. He set the two giant Slurpees in front of Calypso, and Hazel.

Calypso started at the _Slurpee_ with interest. Before she could analyse what the thing inside the cup was, Percy told them to begin.

Calypso watched as Hazel drink the Slurpee very slowly.

 _Foolish girl, drinking the Slurpee_ _so slowly._ Calypso thought. Calypso took a giant sip out of the Slurpee. It was very cold.

"Holy Poseidon!" Percy shouted "Calypso is on the lead. I wonder if she knows the definition of brain freeze..."

The second giant sip Calypso took was very regretful, as Percy's prediction was right. Calypso indeed had a horrifying brain freeze on the spot.

 _What is happening?_ Calypso thought. She could not think anymore, the cold sensation in her brain completely froze her. Calypso watched Hazel slowly finishing the Slurpee. Hazel did have a couple of short brain freezes, but it did not stop her.

"God, Jason, my Babe needs help here..." Leo spoke, terrified. Jason ran electricity through Calypso as Hazel won.

"It looks like Hazel won. One point for Hazel, making her the lead in our contest..." Piper spoke.

"Babe, you need more western food!" Leo spoke. "Once father Leo is done with you, you'll feel like a smart girl once again!"

Calypso's reaction was bad. She dumped her cup of Slurpee on Leo's head.

"Valdez! Are you implying that I'm not smart?" Calypso asked with an angry voice. Leo immediately had a brain freeze.

"Calypso is smarter than you think. Hot things freeze faster than cold stuff..." Annabeth spoke.

"NOT HELPING!" Leo wailed as Calypso punched him in the head.

"STOP!" someone shouted. Percy watched as a tall beautiful woman separating the fight flawlessly.

"Calypso, do you think your imprisonment was too short?" the woman spoke.

"Hera." Annabeth spoke.

"It's your lucky day!" Hera spoke. "I am here to cook for you people, just name it!"

...

In Mount Olympus, Percy and his gang found themselves in a beautiful dining room.

"Lady Hera, I have decided that Annabeth and Reyna should be our next contestants." Percy spoke.

"WONDERFUL!" Hera squealed. Zeus just walked in.

"Hera, your not serving them cheesecake, aren't you?" Zeus asked with a horrifying tone to his voice.

"Of course not! Not after what I have seen Nico and Hazel fart! That's family!" Hera carelessly said. Nico and Hazel immediately became flushed.

Annabeth and Reyna sat in the opposite side of each other. Hera set down two plates of a corn bean egg dish.

Annabeth and Reyna dived in. Annabeth puked. Hera laughed wickedly.

"Lady Hera, what is this?" Reyna asked as she ate more.

"Corn Bean Egg!" Hera spoke "Do you like it?"

"Yes I do..." Reyna spoke. Reyna loved it so much that she ordered another plate. Athena just walked in the dining room and watched as Annabeth puked. The gang were closer to Reyna than Annabeth. Athena looked at Reyna, enjoying Hera's cooking.

 _Who is that girl?_ Athena thought to herself. Bing! _Ah, yes. That girl protected my Athena Parthenos!_

Reyna clearly won by two hundred percent.

Percy went over to Annabeth and kissed her in the cheek. This made Athena somewhat _ticked_ if you asked Calypso.

"Reyna clearly won. Now tied with Hazel at two points." Percy spoke. He was shaking his head. Calypso, Annabeth, Hazel, and Nico were starting to regret their dare.

Hera waved her finger and the puke was gone. Hera waved her finger again and Annabeth's stomach became neutralized.

"My child, do you dare to insult the Queen of Heavens again?" Hera asked.

"No..." Annabeth moaned.

"What did she do exactly?" Athena asked.

"She _ticked_ me off by refusing my help during the Titan's curse quest!" Hera spoke. Athena walked over to Annabeth.

"Annabeth, sometimes you just have to accept the fact people do die." Athena spoke calmly. She tapped Annabeth's head.

Reyna was now bowing to Hera and thanking her for the cooking.

At a corner, Artemis and Apollo were spying in the dining room.

"Eh sis! Let's have a contest like them!" Apollo spoke, showing off his build, earning a punch from Artemis.

"Let's...Not." Artemis spoke sternly. As they moved back, they crashed into Hermes.

"Hermes!" Apollo shouted.

"SHHH!" Hermes whispered. "Hey Artemis, let's have a contest like them!"

Artemis lost it and ran away. Hermes and Apollo high fived.


	6. Ch 6: Gods get into everyone's buisness

**This is the part where they attract the god's attention further more.**

 **Enjoy!**

Chapter 6

Gods get into everyone's buisness

Nico was escaping until he bumped into Will Solace. Nico immediately blushed.

"What are you doing here?" Nico asked.

"Oh, I came to see you!" Will answered. "I heard you farted!"

"Shut up!" Nico spoke and he gave Will a rose.

"Whatever. The gods are getting interested in Percy's thing." Will spoke "and why does he get all the attention?"

Will walked away. Artemis saw everything.

...

Bump!

"Apollo, I mean, Dad!" Will spoke, astonished.

"Who's that rose from?" Apollo asked. "My hot boy finally gets some girls! Let me compose a haiku in your honor:

My Will is so Great,

So Great that he gets a Girlfriend

Will is so awesome!

How's that, Will?"

"Uh, great..." Will spoke. "Actually, I'm not dating with a girl..."

"Oh?" Apollo asked in confusion.

"He's dating with a boy." Artemis blurted out heartlessly. "He got that rose from Nico di Angelo, son of Hades."

"I see, and I heard he's up on Mount Olympus too. What is he doing?" Apollo asked somewhat shocked, totally ignoring Will.

"Oh, he's spying on the demigod's contest." Artemis spoke heartlessly.

...

Hades was writing things down from a bench hidden in the dining room up above. Hephaestus, Dionysus, and Hestia were up there as well.

"Looks interesting. We all should like have a contest too!" Hestia exclaimed. Hades smiled. Hephaestus and Dionysus looked at each other and nodded. They went down and Hades bumped into Nico. Hades did not see who that was.

"Ouch!" Nico shouted.

"Whoops, sorry there." Hades spoke and walked away.

"Hades, did you just ignore something important?" Hestia asked.

"Oh, that boy I just bumped into?" Hades spoke. "Who did I bump into?"

Nico was standing before Hades.

"Father, I can't believe you ignored your own son." Nico spoke, looking quite hurt. Hades saw a rose petal on Nico's body.

"So, who have you been dating? Are you really that handsome enough to get some girls?" Hades spoke.

"Boys." Artemis spoke, appearing from a corner.

"You don't mean..." Hades spoke and fainted.

"Sorry, he is just, wait... Nico, you are not straight..." Hestia asked and fainted as well.

"I knew that Nemo Da Angel was strange to me..." Dionysus spoke.

"I agree." Hephaestus spoke. "Now move over, we need to gather the gods."

Nico moved aside. He started to cry. Apollo just came over his way. Nico caught a few words he spoke.

 _My boy is hot alright, to get ..._ Apollo spoke and then stopped because he realized the boy he walked past by was Nico.

...

"Percy and Piper!" Hera spoke "Will eat my special fish!"

Poseidon gave Hera a murderous look. Hera completely ignored Poseidon. She noticed the looks on Percy and Piper.

"What's wrong? Fish is healthy for you!" Hera protested. Percy and Piper both ate one bite. Piper immediately puked. Percy fainted.

"What's wrong with you demigods?" Hera shouted. She slipped on a puddle of vomit. It was a fragment of Annabeth's puke that Hera forgot to clean.

"Hera, my daughter is a vegetarian." Aphrodite spoke, appearing from a corner.

"Hera, my son is clearly aware that his father likes fish and will not eat fish!" Poseidon spoke. "How dumb can you get?"

Big mistake. Hera flashed gold.

"Hera, I do not permit you to use your god form." Zeus spoke. Hera's powerful light dimmed. Jason had to run lightning down Percy. The fish in Percy's mouth came out.

"I see what Annabeth means, Lady Hera. Perfect family?" Piper sneered. Aphrodite gasped.

"My daughter, please do not sneer at the Queen of Heaven, especially with charmspeak!" Aphrodite told Piper with powerful charmspeak. "It's not a weapon to be tossed around the Queen of Heaven!"

Hera calmed down.

"Now, according to the council of Gods, basically ten gods want to have an eating contest?" Aphrodite asked.

"Which two did not want to do this?" Zeus asked.

"Artemis, and Athena." Aphrodite spoke.

"Big whoop! They are just as boring as ever! One with her wisdom waving in my face! Another one with no joy of marriage!" Hera sneered at that fact.

"Oh, that's right. Annabeth also thinks you sneer worse than an Empousa! _"_ Piper blurted out. Zeus, Poseidon, and Aphrodite gwaffed. Hades, Apollo, Dionysus, Hephaestus, Hermes, and Hestia laughed from their corner as well. Up in the balcony, Ares was secretly spying at the gods as well as recording a video of them.

"I should win the funny contest!" Ares shouted.

"Excuse me dad? There isn't a funny contest. It's an eating contest." Clarisse corrected her dad.

"Whatever." Ares snapped back, as he watched the other gods come out. He recorded Hephaestus and Dionysus making a pig out of themselves.

Ares stopped the recording of the two gods. He posted it on YouTube. Zeus and Poseidon faced each other. Ares recorded that as well. He also posted it on YouTube. Ares watched as the watches shot over two billion. That video beat the Gangnam Style video.

"I'm rich!" Ares shouted.

"Ehem!" Artemis spoke.

"WHAT?" Ares shouted and knocked his computer on the ground, obliterating it.

"NOOOOOO!" Ares shouted in horror. Artemis had a very smug look to her face. Before Clarisse knew it, Ares and Artemis were fighting.


	7. Ch 7: The Gods lose their bacon

**Thanks for the reviews, guys!**

 **Please review some more if you want more!**

 **Enjoy!**

 **...**

Chapter 7

The Gods Lose their bacon.

Percy was going through his list.

"I myself, zero points.

Annabeth, one point from Calypso's Garden Salad.

Jason, one point, from A&Ws.

Piper, one point, from La Quebec.

Frank, one point from steaks.

Hazel, two point from my mom's muffins, and the Slurpee.

Leo, zero points. Lost to two girls.

Calypso, one point from McDonalds.

Nico, one point from the fart incident. (Nico punched Percy)

Reyna, two point from Spicy Burritos.

Although me and Piper faced off, I have to admit. Piper won. I fainted. That's worse than puking..."

"Percy, why don't we face off again, that was an unfair fight." Piper suggested. Percy agreed. Percy watched the gods assemble. Annabeth saw her mother in chains, from Ares. Ares had chained Artemis and Athena.

"Dad, these two... please make them face off." Ares asked politely.

"Since when do you act nice?" Zeus asked.

"SHIT! ATHENA, YOUR ADVICE DID NOT WORK!" Ares growled rather loudly.

"Now, we want to have a food contest, right?" Zeus asked. They all nodded, except for Athena and Artemis.

"We'll have stag for dinner!" Hera shouted gleefully. Artemis fainted. Piper puked again.

"Or maybe spiders!" Dionysus spoke "We could make new exotic wine out of them!"

Athena went pale. Annabeth also went pale. The two went more pale as Hera challenged Dionysus to try it out of Arachne's children.

"What's wrong? Looks like the Athena family has indeed gone pale" Hera sneered at Annabeth. The gods cackled.

"You chicken!" Percy spoke at Annabeth's ear, earning himself a big hit from Annabeth. Demeter just arrived.

"What in Hades happened?" Demeter screeched.

"Eh?" Hades asked.

Demeter also joined the contest despite Nico and Hazel's _fart_ from the cheesecake incident in her restaurant!

...

Hazel, Reyna, Piper, and Annabeth found themselves in the kitchen of Olympus. The only god in the kitchen was Aphrodite.

"Now girls, we are going to cook for the gods!" Aphrodite squealed "Now add lots, I mean LOTS of love to it, my secret ingredient!"

Hazel, Reyna, and Annabeth whispered to Piper. "Gee, your mom is weird"

Piper flushed. Aphrodite got evilly mad.

"Now girls, I cook for Olympus! I am the top chef of Olympus and the universe! How dare you insult me!" Aphrodite squealed with horror. The three girls got really scared at the squealing. It was really corny.

"Now, to remember my secret ingredient, just say LOL!" Aphrodite squealed some more. The first round of the eating contest was between Hera and Artemis. Artemis was forced to eat on one condition, as long as her set was all vegetarian.

Annabeth was in charge of Artemis' plate along with Reyna since Annabeth is not to be trusted with Hera's food. She was an, alright cook.

On the other hand, Hazel and Piper would be making Hera's dish.

The girls got to work. Aphrodite banged her pot to get the girls to work.

"No! My Piper! Don't burn the vegetable sauce! The last time someone else did that, Hera incinerated them!" Aphrodite squealed at her own daughter. Piper went pale.

"You know what we're making, right?" Aphrodite asked. "Nectar and Ambrosia! It's the god's delicacy! We are adding my cooking style to it! The gods love it!"

Athena burnt the vegetable sauce. Aphrodite waved her finger and the burnt part became gone.

"Annabeth, be more careful! Or else, I'll force Percy to ditch you!" Aphrodite warned. Annabeth gulped.

...

Soon, the nectar and ambrosia was ready along with Aphrodite's signature vegetable sauce. Annabeth had a cackle to her face. Piper immediately noticed a spider on Hera's plate.

"Stop! Lady Hera, let me remove that spider!" Piper spoke and fainted. Aphrodite removed it. Hera gave Annabeth a murderous look and flared gold.

Both goddess began to eat. Hera lost her chicken. Artemis created an ocean of vomit.

"What is this?" Hera asked, looking quite insulted. "I bet Annabeth ruined it! Annabeth, you are to PERSONALLY COOK MY PLATE THIS TIME!"

"Chicken powder?" Artemis protested.

"No, Artemis, it isn't, just go to the washroom!" Aphrodite spoke with her most powerful charmspeaking.

...

The two plates sat there in front of Hera and Artemis.

"Begin!" Aphrodite announced. This time, she personally cooked the plates.

Hera ate ferociously. It reminded Percy of a cow. Artemis ate ferociously. Ares secretly recorded it. There was no stopping it.

"Hah, the two gods are making themselves a pig!" Ares sneered. Zeus saw everything.

"Is this your first recording?" Zeus asked.

"No, look at the top hits on YouTube!" Artemis shouted out. She won.

Zeus opened his laptop and looked on YouTube. Apparently, Ares set a function on Zeus' computer to display all of it on TV. The gods watched. Meanwhile, Ares had secretly posted another video of Hera and Artemis making themselves a pig and a _cow_ out of themselves.

The looks on Zeus' face and Poseidon's face was unbelievable. Poseidon got his trident ready. Zeus fired up his master bolt. They both struck Ares at the same time. Of course, Ares was a god, so he simply reformed effortlessly. Ares looked terrified.

...

Nico and Will were at a corner busy making out until Athena caught them.

"Boys, I most dislike your type of people." Athena spoke, heartlessly. She held out a camera and smirked.

...

Suddenly, the TV was interrupted by an emergency video. Zeus watched.

"Probably Athena's smart stuff again." Zeus spoke. The screen displayed Nico and Will making out with Athena adding very smart and intelligent comments. Athena completely blocked out Nico and Will's sounds. The only time Nico and Will's voice were displayed was when they stopped.

Zeus completely dropped his nuggets. Apollo fainted. Hades puked at the video. Athena had a not so nice look to her face. Demeter dropped her corn. Artemis got a seizure. Dionysus and Hephaestus both muttered _Fool_. Hestia's joyful face disappeared, replaced by a fiery look. Aphrodite gushed at the making out.

"That's love!" Aphrodite squealed, although she was disgusted beyond repair. If she saw Zeus and Poseidon do that, she would definitely lose it.

Ares dropped his computer, breaking his tenth computer. Hermes lost his bacon. Hera lost it. She automatically turned into a supernova and burst, destroying the dining room.

Aphrodite's statement magnified the horror by two times. The demigods were paralyzed. The look on Annabeth's face was murderous.

 _Nico, you are desperate for love! With boys!_ Annabeth shot a face a Nico.

Nico shot a face back at Annabeth _You wouldn't get it! Jason isn't ..._

 _Wait? You liked Jason? Oooh! I'm telling Jason!_ Annabeth shot a face back and whispered into Jason's ear.

 _No! He doesn't love me back so here's Will!_ Nico shot a face back at Annabeth.

"Annabeth girl! I knew that." Jason spoke. Percy got lost in the exchange of expressions. He was paralyzed. Hazel and Piper were beyond disgusted.

Jason had to run electricity through everyone to get them to function.

Nico completely regretted his suggestion with the dare. Percy, doing something that leads to universal humiliation!


	8. Ch 8: Leoshizzle

**Thanks for the reviews. I luv you all! Not literally.**

 **That's Leo's line! _Everyone Luvs Leo!_**

 **24 reviews! AWESOME! 821 views? You all rock!**

 **I own nothing! Just borrowing characters. The ideas came from me (about the food), that's all.**

 **This chapter and Chapter 7 is the reason I rated it T.**

 **I'm aiming for 30 reviews (if not, no more chapters)! You all rock! Keep up the reviews!**

 **Enjoy this one!**

Chapter 8

Leoshizzle

The Nico scene freaked out Leo.

"That's a bunch of Leoshizzle!" Leo retorted.

Aphrodite had asked on wiping out everyone's minds of what happening the last ten minutes. The gods did not want that. They feel like humiliating Nico. As for Hades, he regretted introducing Nico to the world. As for Will, Apollo took him out of Mount Olympus and told him it was very very embarrassing for him to do that. As for Athena.

"That is exactly why I do not like my daughter near you." Athena told Percy.

Aphrodite tripped over Athena on purpose. Aphrodite's high heels crushed Athena's battle armor effortlessly.

"It's natural to LOVE Annabeth, right Percy?" Aphrodite spoke out with her most powerful charmspeak.

"Curse you Aphrodite!" Athena sneered "How many times have you been helping Percy and my daughter?"

"I will continue to help them until they die!" Aphrodite swore. Athena turned pale. After all, Aphrodite was a very powerful god. Her ideals of love is strong enough to make you fall to the dumps.

"Aphrodite! That's Leoshizzle!" Leo shouted in agreement.

"What does that word exactly mean? I would be so much more helpful if you explained it." Aphrodite spoke.

"I don't know, but I like saying it." Leo spoke "Used as an expression of any sort?"

Zeus' master bolt whizzed past everyone.

"Quiet everyone!" Zeus shouted.

"Nico Di Angelo. I shall throw you from Mount Olympus!" Zeus spoke. Before Zeus could hit Nico. Jason came to his defence.

"What are you doing, Jason?" Zeus asked.

"Well, it's not like you're better. Please do not attack Nico!" Jason plead.

Athena accidentally recorded that and set it on the screen.

"Well, it's not like you're better..." spoke the recording. The recording repeated many times. The blood on Zeus' face rose up higher than Mount Olympus.

"That makes sense..." Hera spoke. quite angry. The gods knew what Jason now meant. All the attention from Nico and Will turned at Zeus.

"It's not like I date boys..." Zeus spoke. The attention flipped back to Nico and Will (who had been kicked out of Olympus).

"Well, I don't have a million girlfriends or innocent woman bystanders...who are all now pregnant..." Nico shot back. The Lightning God went berserk. The gods nodded. Hera was on Nico's side.

"That's right di Angelo. now come for me, Zeus!" Hera shrieked. Zeus got kicked by Ninja Hera. Hera's peacock fan whipped open and slowed Hera's fall.

The gods smelt something. Something was burning in Mount Olympus.

"That's right gods! It's time for the Leoshizzle Barbecue!" Leo shouted, while waving his spatula in the air. Zeus lost all the attention. The gods were interested in what Leo was doing.

"Say: EVERYONE LUVS LEO!" Leo shouted out loud. The gods repeated Leo's statement before they even realized what he spoke.

"Wait! Leo, your not cool!" Apollo shot back. Just then, Leo whipped a steak in the air.

"Catch, Apollo!" Leo shouted while flinging the steak in Apollo's mouth. Artemis fainted at once when Apollo caught the steak.

"I feel like I'm in the middle of a soap opera. Who knew the gods were like this?" Annabeth spoke.

"Piper, the gods recently had some drugs." Aphrodite whispered in Piper's ears. "Oh, and Nico and Will got some too, accidentally."

"ACCIDENTALLY?" Piper shrieked.

"That's why I want to wipe out their memories. The gods being as high as the sky is no fun for Love!" Aphrodite spoke. "The only gods that did not get the drugs were Athena, Artemis, Apollo, and me."

Aphrodite whipped her pink fan, in which she had just revealed. She whipped powder at the god's faces. The gods lost their memories indeed. She shoved a pill in Nico's mouth. Nico's blushing disappeared.

"Alright, escape while you can, I'll clean everything up!" Aphrodite shouted. She transported the gang back on Earth. Sally was waiting.

"So, how was Olympus?" Sally asked.

"The gods were drugged and high before our face..." Annabeth blurted out. Sally gasped. Paul fainted.

"I hope their okay." Sally spoke.

"They are alright. Aphrodite is cleaning the stuff up." Annabeth spoke.

"Done!" Aphrodite spoke, coming in behind them with a very corny smile.

"What happened?" Annabeth asked.

"Oh, Kronos drugged their morning wine." Aphrodite casually spoke with her super sweet fake girl talk. She even did the hand thing in which she whipped her hand down. Sally fainted. Percy caught her.

"He's in Tartarus." Percy spoke.

"That's right. I bet Gaea drugged it, either way, Kronos always wanted to see the gods high." Aphrodite casually spoke.

"Anyways, here is your trouble." Aphrodite spoke. She handed Percy half a million dollars. Percy's mouth dropped to Tartarus. (Not literally!)

...

"Now, where to go next..." Percy spoke.

"How about the movie theater?" Piper suggested.

"Excellent!" Percy spoke. They went to a nearby movie theater and watched Frozen.

"This stuff never gets old!" Percy shouted as the movie started. They all have a giant bag of popcorn in their hands.

"Now, our next contest is between me, and Piper!" Percy announced.

"Wonderful..." Piper spoke. They ate their popcorn vigorously.

In the scene _Do you want to build a snowman_ _?_ , Percy had reached halfway of the popcorn bag. Piper was behind.

During Anna's ice curse, the part when Elsa struck Anna in the heart, Percy had one popcorn left and was singing along horribly. Annabeth covered her ears. Piper took the advantage to eat more popcorn. Just then, in a flash, Percy crushed his last popcorn in his mouth. He was now singing the love song in Frozen. Nico could not stand Frozen. The only reason why he was in the theaters was because Jason made him stay in the theaters. Jason ran electricity through Nico to paralyze his movements.

Percy had finally got a point.

"Okay, the dare is over!" Percy announced with a wicked smile on his face.

"Yay!" Calypso shouted out.

"Just kidding!" Percy shouted on top of the screams. Nico lunged at Percy and attacked him.


	9. Ch 9: King Percy

**Back to _un_ akward scenes?**

 **More haiku. Tried really hard to make them Apollo style.**

 **If you have not fav and follow? Please do! It would make my day!**

 **If you really are digging this stuff, you can check my other writing.**

 **Whoever can find my prized piece will get to see an excerpt of my later chapters!**

 **Hint, it is not Harry Potter.**

 **Enjoy!**

 **...**

Chapter 9

King Percy

Nico was flat on the ground. Percy had knocked him on the ground with a tidal wave using a nearby water fountain.

"That's one for King Percy!" Jason joked.

"That's not true!" Percy spoke. Then he spoke back.

"Maybe that's true! All bow down to King Percy! Slayer of Kronos!" Percy shouted.

"Excuse me, Percy? The cool one killed Gaya!" Leo boasted.

"It's _Gaea_ , not Gay-a." Percy corrected Leo.

"I don't care!" Leo sang. He did Gangnam style in the Empire State Building. The tourists gave him very weird looking looks. Leo ignored them and pulled out a giant gong and started to bang it. It was extremely obnoxious.

"I hate Gangnam style..." Piper spoke.

"Same here..." Jason spoke. Percy saw a restaurant across the street.

Apollo and Will were inside, drinking a smoothie. Apollo was giving Will a lecture about how it makes him look bad. This was all done in haikus.

"Will,

If you play with boys,

You make me look really bad,

So Please don't do it!

I am Apollo!

I'm the Hottest God EVER!

Not when you're smooching

You deserve better!

You can get LOTS of Girlies!

If you ditch Nico." Apollo concluded.

"WHAT?" Will shouted in disbelief.

"He got him..." Nico spoke in disappointment from the other side. Leo kept smashing his gong. He immediately got Apollo's attention.

"Dudes, my Will deserves more than that! He needs girls? Don't you agree, Calypso?" Apollo asked.

"Uh, he's not my type. Sure he's cute?" Calypso spoke awkwardly. Will tried to hug Apollo and suceeded. Apollo's hands were flung aside by Will. Apollo couldn't resist.

"Uh, help?!" Apollo asked awkwardly.

"Will, get off Apollo..." Nico spoke.

"No, I love daddy!" Will pouted like a little five year old. The gang did absolutely nothing to help Apollo.

"Dad, you brought me down here, then went back up, then come back here only to give me a dumb stanza of haiku lectures! It's driving me sick! I prefer couplets." Will snapped and hugged Apollo tighter. Will's arms wrapped around Apollo's neck and the sun god was now choking, on the ground. Nico cackled secretly.

"HELP!" Apollo shouted. All the customers in the restaurant fled. The lady who owned the restaurant got very ticked.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING? MY CUSTOMERS ARE GONE!" The lady shouted. Apollo pushed Will off him and got up. He showed off his biceps and pectorals.

"How's this?" Apollo boasted. The lady fell for Apollo. The entire scene was recorded by...Artemis.

"Wonderful! I shall win the America's funniest video! I shall beat Ares!" Artemis sneered at Apollo. The sneer was in fact very powerful against Apollo, making him fall to his knees.

"Are the gods competing in America's funniest videos?" Percy asked.

"Percy, you are the dumbest person I know. Of course! Ares recorded Zeus and Poseidon being slobs. Athena adding her so called funny comments to you people's smooching!" Apollo shouted, pointing to Nico and Will accusingly "Artemis recording my son of a !%$! hugging me! It is rather embarassing!" and Apollo turned beet red.

Aphrodite was at the door, wearing a necklace. Percy, Jason, Frank, Leo, and Apollo's face turned beet red.

"Hubba, Hubba!" Percy spoke. The reaction from Nico was the complete opposite of Percy, Jason, Frank, Leo, and Apollo.

"Careful, she is wearing her husband's gift!" Annabeth and Calypso spoke at the same time.

"Apollo, will you marry me? I'll break my engagement with Hephaestus and ditch Ares!" Aphrodite asked in a very high pitched girly voice that sounded extremely convincing. On top of that, Aphrodite added super powerful charmspeak to it.

"YES!" Apollo shouted and lunged at Aphrodite.

"Just kidding!" Aphrodite casually spoke also with very powerful charmspeak. Apollo was paralyzed in mid-air. Aphrodite took off her necklace. The effect wore off.

"Apollo, you never learn! I now also have a video!" Aphrodite laughed evilly at Apollo as she held up a secret camera in the restaurant.

"This now rivals with by boyfriend's video!" Aphrodite shouted in a very girly voice. "And Athena's, by golly hers suck lower than Chaos! Artemis, I recorded her skipping like a hippo across the road, breaking the law by doing a hippo jaywalking! That is just PATHETIC!"

Aphrodite conjured the scene. Artemis' booty shook exactly like a hippo. Apollo fell in love with Artemis for the trillionth time.

"Aww, that's really sweet! Too bad, I have to admit it. Artemis has broken your heart so many more times than I have, when I'm the master of breaking men's hearts!" Aphrodite spoke, in her singsong world. Aphrodite noticed a moving camera. She almost got the camera until it withdrew from the wall.

"Darn, my husband got his video!" Aphrodite squealed in horror. "I'm have to get it back, bye! Bye Piper!" and she skipped away.

Apollo was watching her sex parts the whole time.

"She's hot..." Apollo spoke, drooling on Will.

"EW!" Will squealed like a five year old little boy.

"Shut up Will! You and Nico disgust me even more!" Apollo snapped back. Will immediately shut up. Nico literally shrunk by one centimeter.

"Hah, I win!" Apollo sneered. He had a series of recordings of lady's cute 'parts'. Percy covered his mouth. Hera's part came up. The peacock fan whipped.

"Oh, that whip!" Apollo gushed. Percy realized he was adding his own voice to the video, making the female gods a laughing stock.

"Uh, Percy. Can we stop the bet now?" Nico asked like a little boy.

"Okay." Percy spoke back, looking at the video. Athena's 'part' came up.

"You have to admit, Athena? ROWR!" Percy growled. The girls of the gang huddled up and decided to crash the god's fun.

"Got it? Piper, Hazel, Calypso, Reyna?" Annabeth asked.

"Yup!" The girls responded as Apollo posted the video on YouTube.

One of the comments just popped up.

"Seriously, whoever posted this needs to GET A LIFE!"

Apollo fainted. Hazel giggled. She was on her YouTube account.

"It worked!" Hazel squealed. Hazel was the one who posted that recent comment.


	10. Ch 10: The Demigods make their move

**Lol! You guys are the best! 1296 views! Thank you for reading!**

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 **(Although I like it, sort of)**

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 **...**

Chapter 10

The demigods make their move

Piper moved Hazel away.

"Let me do the next ones, I am better in persuasion." Piper suggested. She started to type vigorously.

Nico was hiding until Percy found him.

"Hey buddy, you shouldn't be hiding!" Percy spoke.

"Dude, everyone in the world knows I'm..." Nico spoke glumly.

"That's okay. You are who you are. I don't mind if you like me. But really Nico, you always know I won't do something like that! I'm straight!" Percy spoke.

Nico started to cry. Percy could not stop him.

The gang were still in the restaurant, which had been recently abandoned (like, 5 minutes ago?).

Piper was commenting on Ares' video on Hera and Artemis.

"Like seriously! Only an immature five year old would record a video like that! My mother now has a migraine from watching it! My little brother is puking at the video when the smaller lady pukes!

I honestly hate this video, Aresisawsome! Eat my guts!" Piper wrote as Pipsonisawesome. Pipson is awesome is the real term, but.

"Piper, that is a very boring username." Frank told Piper.

"Oh,... Be quiet!" Piper shouted. Percy looked at the Empire States Building, and above that, a battle was going on. Percy could see a giant sword clashing with an arrow.

"I bet Ares and Artemis are fighting." Percy spoke.

Piper watched for the comments to roll in.

"Oh god, your right Pipsonisawesome! This is really for five year olds!" spoke an unknown user.

Soon, there were more computers for the gang to use.

"Like seriously, he needs to get a life!" Hazel wrote as Hazankheartdarkawesome.

"Hazel, no offense, the username is really lame!" Frank criticized. Frank wish he had not, because the next thing he knew, Hazel was now forcing Frank to punk talk online.

"All you do, is cyber bully the gods. This is an exception!" Hazel spoke.

"Uh, why?" Frank asked, earning himself a hit from Hazel. In the end, Frank was to do what he was told. Hazel found another computer.

Jason and Reyna were eating a loaf of bread at the same time. Jason finished his first.

"Hah, I win! That's one point for me!" Jason joked.

"Jason Grace! You are demoted!" Reyna joked. "you're no longer on probation! You are fired from Camp Jupiter!"

"Oh no!" Jason squealed in a jokey voice. Everyone laughed so hard. No one ever heard Jason speak in a soprano voice.

"Oh! Look at this!" Hazel spoke in horror. On Ares' video, he wrote:

"Whoever wrote this, I'll be at your house at seven o'clock. Book your grave!" Ares wrote on YouTube.

"I'll get my dad to protect me!" Hazel wrote.

"Who is your father?" Ares wrote.

"My father. that's a secret, Ares." Hazel wrote.

"What? How do you know my real name?" Ares wrote.

"Ares is awesome is so obvious, only an idiot would do that." Piper wrote.

"What? Two people ganging up on me? Well, Hazank, that wouldn't help you!" Ares wrote.

"My father is going to kill me if he found us out!" Frank worried.

"Shut up, Frank! You have us!" Hazel spoke. Then she wrote.

"Oh yeah Ares, guess what? You make it so obvious that I know your name, but I on the other hand. Well. everyone doesn't use their real names on websites and stuff, except for Facebook." Hazel wrote "And only a few people use their actual names for their account! Unlike you, Ares."

"Oh, I'll kill your father first! Who is he?" Ares wrote.

"Oh, that's easy. My father, is a big three!" Hazel wrote.

"Where did you get that information? I'll kill you!" Ares wrote.

"Well, we'll see if my dad Pluto, or Hades, whatever you'd like to call him agrees!" Hazel wrote. She added a meanie face. There was no answer on the other hand. Nico looked up in the air at the Empire State Building and heard someone shouting very loudly.

"That's Ares alright." Nico spoke.

"That's two down!" Hazel spoke. They found more videos. They decided to do the Nico video.

"Ew, gross. Whoever got this video must really dig men!" Annabeth wrote as Annacyisawesome.

"Annabeth, you are Annacy? And I'm Percabeth. Okay, I get it." Percy spoke. He typed stuff in too.

"Wait a second, we have ADHD, how are we able to type this down?" Nico asked.

"Oh, you go to Google Translate, and you translate Greek words to English." Percy spoke. "That's what I used. Although it sucks really bad."

"Oh, I used Dragon, a software allowing me to speak! It'll write down what I spoke" Annabeth spoke with the headphones off. Athena had posted her comments as WiseOwl101. They knew that WiseOwl101 was Athena because she was the one who recorded that video and posted by WiseOwl101.

"She's good." Piper spoke.

"I know." Frank responded. Athena had wrote.

"Dearie, I loved your comment! I would love to meet you! You are very intelligent!" Athena wrote. Annabeth found out it was a lie. The others fell for it just after Annabeth realized it.

"Excuse me, but it looks like you are the wise one. You seem very very old to me." Annabeth wrote "And I bet your wrinkles have already!"

Apollo just woke up. They forgot he was there.

"It was you..." Apollo glared at Hazel.

"Sorry hottie! Your father and elders crashed our contest, so ya!" Hazel blabbed.

"Oh. I'll help." Apollo spoke. "Even though you ruin my chances to get money!"

Apollo typed something at Athena as well.

"Yeah, I think you were jealous of Medusa's beauty and stole it!" Apollo wrote his comments in a new account. Apolloisdaman. Different from Apollodahottieisawesome. There was no reaction from the other end.

Apollo looked in the air.

"That's definitely Athena's Aegis clashing with Ares' sword. Oh well." Apollo spoke. "We'll just let the other gods fight.

My piece of poetry is called Athena's rage on the internet.

Athena's stupid

She shouid not steal videos

You lose, Athena!"

"Honestly Apollo, I did not like your haikus. Athena did not steal videos. And it does not attract woman!" Piper spoke.

"Fine, you got me." Apollo spoke in a jokey voice, and meant it. Apollo typed in one more comment. The reaction from Athena resulted with the Empire State Building lighting up on fire from a lightning bolt.

 **How was that? I tried very hard. Hope you liked it! (And faved it!)**

 **Apollo's poetry really sucks. Tried really hard on that. More reviews, follows, favs = happy person = more updates!**

 **Sorry. I won't be able to update this until sometime around the third week of June! You guys are the best!**


	11. Ch 11: Chaos hits Olympus (Last Chapter)

**I'm done exams! Thanks for waiting, here is some more in waiting!**

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Chapter 11

Chaos strikes Olympus

"I don't think this is enough." Apollo spoke "We need to infiltrate Olympus with our physical selves."

"Alright, fine" Annabeth spoke and she walked outside. A pie flew from the air in front of her. Annabeth was speechless. The gang went in the Empire State Building and encountered Demeter and Aphrodite.

"What brings you down here?" Apollo asked.

"Food." Demeter spoke.

"Hades is broken loose inside Olympus." Aphrodite spoke. "Zeus told me and Demeter to prepare food for them. But as soon as we finished it, Zeus would snatch whatever we have prepared and threw it at the gods. Eventually, the gods got whatever was in the fridge and started throw whatever they got their hands on. Ares and Athena have been struck by Zeus' lightning bolt."

"That explains the pie." Annabeth murmured. Piper heard Aphrodite mutter something about the gods not appreciating their food cooked with love.

"Well, we are at the stage of infiltrating Olympus" Apollo spoke.

"Well, that sounds fun, we'll join" Aphrodite spoke.

"Yeah, we'll show them who's boss!" Demeter spoke "then, I'll make the world eat cereal!"

"Not everyone likes cereal, someone like...me" Aphrodite spoke. The two gods had a big argument. Eventually, they prepared the infiltration.

"Nico, Hazel, eat the giant whole cheesecake" Annabeth spoke. Demeter handed Nico and Hazel the cheesecake.

"And when you feel like you are going to fart, do it in the hallway near where the gods are fightning." Annabeth spoke.

Nico wanted to die on the spot and would rather fall in love with a porcupine. Hazel on the other hand looked not so good.

"Go on!" Annabeth spoke sternly. Piper repeated the statement and forced Nico and Hazel to eat the entire giant cheesecake. One each. Piper told Nico and Hazel to go to the hallway.

"This is the part we run, right?" Apollo asked.

"Yup, RUN!" Annabeth shouted. They ran to the upper area that screened the fart. Nico and Hazel soon met with the gang. Demeter pressed a button on the wall.

"Hephaestus owes me a favor and I made him make a cereal device that would rain over Olympus!" Demeter spoke. It was chaos. The cereal fell on the god's sticky bodies covered in food paste with pie cream, cake cream, and all the gooey things in the world put together. The cereal rained on the gods' cream and stuck on the cream hard. The cream hardened with the cereal, forming a trap so hard, harder than rock.

"I put _whenever you want plaster to harden_ plaster in all the food before I left!" Aphrodite spoke.

The gods could not move. They could only breathe. However, the air they were about to smell was about to be VERY disastrous. Apollo could see the ugly puke green fart gases and particles invading the god's systems. Athena just woke up, and fainted from the smell. Ares was determined to smell the fart, being tough and everything, but the fart smells so bad, Ares' nose literally went on fire. The only god who was not effected by the fart in the room was Hades.

"I bet it was Nico and Hazel..." Hades spoke. The plaster absolutely had no effect on him. Annabeth gasped.

"He's wearing the his helm!" Annabeth spoke. "How are we supposed to stop him then?"

"That's simple, you use Orpheus' music against him." Athena spoke, coming from the door. She was holding a chain, containing Ares.

"Grover!" Percy spoke.

"That satyr has the most horrible music I have ever heard. Hades would be most effected by it. And surprisingly, he is in Olympus, come Grover."

"Grover!" Percy shouted.

"Percy!" Grover shouted. They hugged each other.

"I have not seen you in a long time!" Percy spoke.

"Me too." Grover spoke. Nico looked jealous.

"Alright, can you play fear at Hades?" Annabeth asked.

"Sure can!" Grover spoke.

"FEAR CANNOT BEAT ME!" Hades bellowed at the door, completely scaring the gang. Grover opened his mouth and Hades flushed and ran away, completely embarrassed from his previous statement. The sound that came from Grover's mouth was so ugly, the gang had to cover their ears.

"That is music?" Apollo asked "Because that was horrible!" and Apollo started to sing,... with Haikus. It was so horrible, that Piper's charmspeak had no effect on Apollo and went on to the point where Aphrodite had to charmspeak to make Apollo stop.

"So, did we beat Olympus?" Percy asked.

"Yes you did! Thank you for doing my life's dream! Now I can tear Olympus brick by brick!" a horrible scratching voice spoke.

Kronos was at the door.

"Where is Hades?" Nico asked.

"I ate him!" Kronos bellowed. "Then, I'll rape you then eat you as well, Nico Di Angelo, or should I say _Pee_ co _Pee_ Angelo?"

"What's with pee?" Nico asked. Kronos lunged at Nico. Aphrodite whipped out her fan for decoration and smacked Kronos. It sent him flying out of the room into the dining room. He took one sniff at the air and fainted.

"Is my fart that bad when I eat cheesecake?" Hazel asked Aphrodite. Frank was looking at Hazel nervously.

"It smells, dead." Aphrodite spoke. "Let's... RUN AWAY FROM THE EVIL FART PARTICLES!"

They managed to escape Olympus and escaped the falling Empire States Building.

"Looks like we need to put Olympus somewhere else, possibly." Aphrodite spoke.

"No, I think you all will pay for what you have done..." Athena spoke.

"Honestly Miss Smartie Pants, you know nothing!" Aphrodite spoke.

"That's right, I know nothing." Athena repeated.

"Promise that you will get out of this!" Aphrodite spoke.

"I promise!" Athena spoke. Then she realized her fault. Aphrodite had been charmspeaking at Athena.

"Crap!" Athena shouted and with that, she fled.

"Awesome, what now?" Apollo asked.

"I'd say we three gods make an Olympus of our own!" Demeter spoke "Then, I'll have everyone thin and healthy because of the power of..."

"Cereal..." Everyone spoke.

"Yes... How did you know that?" Demeter spoke, outrageous.

"You have been saying that for like, forever?" Apollo spoke. Just then, Hera came running out at them.

"Bad news..." Hera spoke to Apollo, infuriated with Nico and Hazel.

"What is it?" Apollo asked.

Hera spoke. "Apollo, you are the king of Olympus. Zeus is dead."

 **That is the last chapter of the entire story! Hoped you all liked it!**

 **If you really like this, Please read my other stories. My prized story is May Beaulieu and the Augury of Love, an original Novella that I wrote! It is a very good story if you all like fantasy!**


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